My name is Gabriella. I have anxiety, depression, and S.A.D. I also have curly hair. I’ve been speaking a lot about mental health on Instagram lately, and the response and support has been overwhelming! I know there are many of you who have the same or similar struggles. So I’ve put together my top tips on how to look after your curls when you’ve got anxiety and depression. Or any kind of mental or physical illness.

Anxiety & Depression
I feel really strongly that mental health is something we need to talk about more. I don’t think it would be right to jump into how to look after your curls when you’ve got anxiety and depression, without first explaining what that’s like. When you suffer from a mental illness, you feel like you’re the only one going through it. It’s only from talking about it, we realise we’re not alone. So many people suffer from anxiety and depression, panic attacks, OCD, PTSD, SAD etc. During these times, everything becomes a struggle. Getting up in the morning, eating, showering, washing my face, brushing my teeth, washing and styling my curly hair.
This too shall pass
Here’s something I learned recently, which has helped my logical perspective when it feels like my anxiety or panic attack is never going to end. Or I’m always going to struggle with my mental health. Think of a time when you were really, really happy. Like laughing so much with your best friends, your stomach hurts and you’ve got tears rolling down your cheeks. In that moment, did you think that feeling was going to last forever? That you were going to be that happy for the rest of your life? No. You knew it would pass. You knew it was only momentary. It’s the same when you feel anxious, depressed or even suicidal. This, too, shall pass.

Anxiety attacks can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. I can often be in a state of anxiety for days. Depression can last for months, years! S.A.D. continues to whoop my ass from October/November through to March/April, every year. So how do you look after your curls so they’re not a matted mess that you’ll have to cut off when you’re feeling like you can face the world again? Here’s my top 6 tips.
1. Cleanse
If it’s been a while since you’ve washed your hair, use a good moisturising, cleansing or clarifying shampoo to get rid of build up and greasy roots. My favourites are Bounce Curl Clarifying Shampoo, and Trepadora Hibiscus Pink Clay Wash. Both of these will leave your hair, scalp and roots feeling lovely and clean. But they’re both gentle and extremely moisturising so won’t strip your hair and dry it out. Use my 10% discount codes, CURLYCAILIN10 for Bounce Curl or CURLYCAILIN for Trepadora. For more info on clarifying and chelating shampoos, product recommendations and how to work out which ones you need, check out this post.

2. Deep Condition
Skip the conditioner and use a good deep conditioner instead. Hairfinity Strengthening Amino Masque is my favourite, and contains protein. I also like to use this DC when I’m doing my modified rice water treatment. For a protein-free deep conditioner, I love Matrix Biolage HydraSource Conditioner (GVP Conditioning Balm in the US), or Jessicurl Deep Conditioning Treatment – use code CURLYCAILIN20 for 20% off the Jessicurl site. Hairfinity Strengthening Amino Masque and Matrix Biolage HydraSource Conditioner are currently 33% off on Look Fantastic! Avoid sleeping with deep conditioner in your hair as this can lead to hygral fatigue, itchy scalp and more.
3. Use Heat
Using a heat cap when you deep condition will make a huge difference. Heat opens up the hair’s cuticle so the products can penetrate deeper into the hair shaft. Which means you get the most out of your deep conditioners and your hair reaps all the benefits. I make and sell heat caps. Made with 100% cotton and 100% organic Irish flaxseeds. They’re eco-friendly, microwaveable, reusable, reversible, stylish and easy to use. See my Instagram for more info, or fill out this contact form.

4. Style
This is where I love to use a good one-and-done styling product. Look for products that will enhance your curl pattern, create a cast and give enough hold to last a few days. My favourites are MopTop Curling Custard, Aussie Instant Freeze Gel or Pantene Defined Curls Mousse No. 5. – which is often half price in supermarkets. But make sure you get the No. 5 one, as this has more hold and creates a better cast than No. 3.
5. Dry
If you can’t face diffusing, then let your hair air dry. Using a curl towel will help get the initial excess water out of your hair, and help speed up the drying process. The DevaCurl towel gets the most excess water our your hair, but I find it can cause my hair to frizz a little. I find this with most microfibre towels tbh. The Trepadora towel is my favourite for scrunching excess water out of my hair. Don’t forget to use CURLYCAILIN for 10% off at checkout. But the Boucleme towel is my favourite for plopping – read this post for more about plopping. Aquis towels are currently 20% off on Look Fantastic.

6. Protect
Protect your curls with a pineapple. I’ve often gone three days with my hair in a pineapple. And when I’ve finally taken it down, my curls have been perfectly acceptable! I think it’s the best, and easiest way to protect and preserve curls in between wash days. Both during the day, and at night. I use a vegan-friendly satin scrunchie from Coorie Curls. I also wear a Buff to protect my curls at night, and often wear it as a headband during the day. Here’s the Buff I bought on Amazon. A satin pillowcase, satin scrunchie and a pineapple are a great trio for protecting your curls at night, or when you can’t face getting up out of bed for days on end.
This post was harder to write than I thought. It’s hard being vulnerable and opening up about more personal stuff sometimes. Especially in such a public way, and when there’s still so much stigma around mental health. We are more than just our curls, and it’s important to recognise and acknowledge that. Not just for positive things, but for our struggles too.
I hope you found this post helpful in some way. Please subscribe if you haven’t already, I’ve got an exciting giveaway post coming up next! So you don’t want to miss that! You can also follow me on Instagram. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Gabriella xoxo
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What a fantastic resource for hair routine! You really have done a great job, I simply applaud to you.
I was googling wth the curly girl method was and stumbled upon your website and I am absolutely hooked.
Do you terribly mind I offer a piece of unsolicited advice with regards of depression/ anxiety thing? There’s a therapy (also available in Ireland, available through some GPs) called nutritiounal therapy, where they take your blood/hair/ urine samples to run some tests and then use vitamins/ minerals (in high, non over the counter,doses) to treat depression (or even certain pathologies, but we won’t go into that). Look it up, it takes a while to kick in but works pretty damn good. I personally think it’s way better than AD, as it lifts your mood while just feeling normal, not heavy headed groggy feeling one can get on AD.
I love this idea with my hair. And I’m starting it tonight.
Thank you for being so open and honest. It can be such a struggle just performing regular hygiene when I’m on a downward depression/anxiety spiral that I will just go days and days (ok a week+) in a messy bun hating the damage I know I’m doing to my hair but not having the motivation to do anything about it. Your post has inspired me to attempt a paired down routine when I’m struggling to keep from slipping deeper into guilt and shame.
Hi Jessi, I’m so glad you found this post helpful! Don’t beat yourself up about it too much, I’ve often left my hair up in a pineapple for D.A.Y.S. and it’s been fine when I’ve taken it down. And just make sure you DC everytime you wash your hair, switch it out from your conditioner and try to use heat if you can (such as one of my heat caps) and just give yourself a break. Your hair will recover, grow back and it’s just hair. Your own mental health is much more important! xoxo